“So, this woman walked into our house and started masturbating…”

When someone just walks into your house and starts masturbating there are some choices to make, I think – especially if you’re a horny frat boy. But waiting 30 minutes to call the police has to be one of the strangest decisions I have ever heard.

But I suppose if you are a frat house at the University of Michigan, 30 minutes might have been exactly the amount of time needed for these men to decide they didn’t need to look at the woman from Eastern Michigan University feeling herself up on their couch anymore. Quick thinking, guys.

If you don’t call the police right away, you wait 30 minutes, what exactly do you tell the police officer when he – or, geez, she – finally shows up? “Uh, we had a, um, hard time figuring out what crime she was committing…” C’mon!

I also found the little fact in the story that the frat house would now need two new sofas interesting. What the heck really went on there?

By the way, read the comments on the story. They’re, for the most part, hilarious, as you might expect from a college campus full of radicals, macho men, do-gooders and hyper-opinionated young men and women, and apparently some embarrassed and frustrated, fighting-for-words frat boys.

Author: Joe Wessels

Joe Wessels is a freelance journalist and photographer. Wessels covers local news events for Thomson Reuters news service and features for About.com's Cincinnati Guide site, plus is the executive director of hyperlocal news site, iRhine.com. He wrote for The Cincinnati Post, covering Cincinnati City Hall and Hamilton County government and wrote a weekly political column, which continued weekly at Cincinnati CityBeat. Previously, he was a reporter for the Cincinnati Business Courier and writes or has written for several publications in Cincinnati and around the country including The Cincinnati Enquirer, Las Vegas Review-Journal, Cincinnati Magazine, Cincy Magazine and the Sacramento News & Review. He is a native of Colerain Township, one of Cincinnati's western suburbs, and now lives in Over-the-Rhine near downtown Cincinnati. He has a Bachelor of Arts degree in psychology and a journalism writing certificate from the University of Cincinnati. He also graduated from Colerain High School, is an avid photographer, news junkie and was once a roller rink disc jockey, and sometimes rides a scooter around town.

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