Cat has blog to talk about sad, pathetic life

So, this “cat” I know has a blog. And every time I read it I think I’m going to wet my pants I’m laughing so hard.

It’s like Toonces the Driving Cat, but instead it’s Paris Hilton – in the form of a kitty cat – who, like the heiress, is at the same time self-absorbed and insightful, plus honest and, well, crazy. Rehab Cat has himself some very big adventures and mishaps, like the pill-popping pictured above. Check out the blog to read more.

The entries are all about this cat’s partying life and the people he does drugs with and socializes with and all the celebrities he hangs out with, the cats he hooks up with and it goes on and on. And it’s all written from this cat’s perspective.

I hope Rehab Cat gets some help, but part of me hopes he continues the binging, the blaming and the excuse-making. It’s really funny. Can’t wait to see where it goes.

(The actual writer of the blog is someone quite a few Report This! readers might know, by the way. But she has asked to remain anonymous.)

Nothing like a near-death attempt to grab my attention

I’m thinking about getting a group of friends together Saturday, picking up a bucket of fried chicken and grabbing a spot right up in front while I watch this guy try to not kill himself in front of me.

His name is Phil Dalton and he’s an illusionist in Cincinnati, and his press release caught my eye. At 2 p.m. Saturday be at Whitaker Elementary, 7400 Winton Road, in Finneytown to watch Dalton “attempt to free himself from a straightjacket while suspended from a burning rope 85 feet above the ground.”

He will have members of the crowd buckle him into the jacket, attach the rope to his ankles and be lifted up in the air, upside down, 85 feet. Then the rope will be set on fire.

“Phiil will have only seconds to free himself before the rope burns through, sending him plummeting to the ground!” his press release says.

Oh, and no charge to watch. It’s free. Sweet. Better than pay-per-view cable TV.
This ain’t Las Vegas. Those folks out there are used to this oddness. Here in the ‘Nati, this is a wee bit unusual, so I called him up.

“It’s different every time you do it,” Dalton said. “So, it’s a little bit of a challenge.”

This will be the first time he’s done this particular trick, but he has escaped from straightjackets before while upside down – not just from a burning rope 85 feet in the air, he tells me. Yeah, me, too (not really).

Dalton, who, it turns out, is from my neck of the woods, Colerain, and also graduated from Colerain High School (in the same class as my sister, Shelly), is doing this as a promotion for an upcoming magic show.

By the way, this is his full-time job, he told me. He also remembers Shelly, who I also called to ask if she remembered him. She did. And said he was “really into magic in high school” and “always trying to show us tricks.”

She said she hopes he doesn’t die and won’t be bringing my nieces (2,2 and 4 years old) or my nephew (6) to see him Saturday in case he does. I told her I’d let her know how it turns out and that I am rooting for him, too.

Reds cheerleaders? Uh, yeah.

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I wondered what all the Bengals did in the fairer months…
By the way, I’ve started a Flickr account at the urging of Jackie Danicki. Click on the photo to be taken there and enjoy… (still working out a few bugs/setting, so please be patient)
originally uploaded by hjoew.

Doug & Joe at Opening Day

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Thanks again, Doug Meyers for the ticket. It was a great day for a ball game – and to boot, Opening Day!Here Dough attacks some Crack Jack whilst I photo blog away…

originally uploaded by hjoew.

Getting something to drink…

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Continuing my first ever attempt at photo blogging through a cameraphone (or any device) direct-to-blog technology (it’s cool), here’s the line at one of the concession stands at Great American Ball Park. I was thirsty and got myself a big ‘ole Pepsi.

originally uploaded by hjoew.

How ’bout these apples (seats)?

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Many thanks to Doug Meyers who graciously offered me a ticket to today’s Opening Day game on Sunday. I gladly accepted.
On the walk down from my place in Over-the-Rhine – where I had a party to watch the parade – he casually mentioned we would be about 10ish rows back from the field.
Thank you, Doug! What a fun time… And the Reds won…and looked good doing it.

originally uploaded by hjoew.