Tag Archives: Cincinnati

MEDIA ADVISORY: Clark Montessori UPDATE

MEDIA ADVISORY
Contact: Joe Wessels (513) 549-6397

NOTE: Please do not call the school or the principal directly through tomorrow. Please call Joe Wessels.

Just a few quick updates/notes:

  • We have been informed by The White House that an announcement is forthcoming at 11 a.m. EDT tomorrow, Tuesday, May 4, 2010. At this time we are unaware how the news will come to us.
  • The White House said it will make an announcement at or around 11 a.m. on its Web site at this address: www.whitehouse.gov/commencement
  • The 88 students making up Clark’s Class of 2010 have asked repeatedly that the message be conveyed that no matter what happens tomorrow, they feel they have already won. Though this is a competition they are very proud of the other schools vying for the President of the United States as their commencement speaker, including the two others making into the final three with Clark, Kalamazoo Central High School in Kalamazoo, Mich. and Denver School of Science and Technology in Denver, Colo.
  • An announcement on media availability will be made tomorrow morning at least a couple hours prior to the 11 a.m. announcement. Students will be in class and doing coursework before that time.
  • Schools not winning the President as their commencement speaker will have a member of the President’s Cabinet speak at the commencement instead.
  • Rep. Driehaus spoke to students today for about 30 minutes, answered questions and shared his support for the school and said he had encouraged The White House to pick Clark.

Guy attempts to re-claim bike that he thought was his – while it’s on bus bike rack

A man who thought he was re-claiming his stolen bike off a bus rack was told by a bus rider – and the bike’s real owner – he might want to re-think his action.

This all happened while I was riding a bus downtown from the University of Cincinnati:

While a Cincinnati Metro bus was stopped for a traffic light at West McMilan Street and Clifton Avenue, a man got out of a car heading eastbound on McMillan and walked up and snatched the bike on the bus’s front bike rack off the rack. The man who put the bike there and was riding the bus, saw this happen, immediately got off the bus and confronted the guy who was taking the red, silver and black bike away.

At that exact moment, a Cincinnati police officer was heading south on Clifton, about to turn west onto McMillan. The man from the bus, now in a tug ‘o war struggle with the man who brazenly took the bike off the bike rack, flagged down the police officer, who stopped.

“This is my bike,” the man who took the bike said to the officer.

“No, it’s mine,” the man from the bus said.

The bus driver exited the bus and spoke to the officer. After a few minutes the bus rider, now in possession of his bike, took it and put it back on the bike rack. The officer got each partys’ name and the bus rider boarded the bus. Riders on the bus applauded him as he took his seat. The man who attempted to take the bike continued to talk with the officer outside, appearing frustrated.

The man who re-claimed his bike, got back on the bus and, out of breathe, took his seat.

“He said that I stole the bike. I had that bike for 10 years,” the bus rider announced to the bus, after someone shouted for him to explain what happened. “He told me he got it some place else. There’s a Montgomery Cyclery sticker right on the bike. That was pretty (bold) to do that.”

A younger woman on the bus, who identified herself as a frequent bus rider,  said she had never witnessed someone try to take a bike off a bus’s bike rack before.

“I’ve seen people snatch an iPod and run out the back door as the bus pulled away,” she said. “But never anything like (what just happened).”

She said she has watched as  someone sitting in the seat nearest the rear bus door had their iPod stolen right out of their hands. She said another person exiting the bus snatches it from their hands – from behind their back. The thief then runs off before the driver is alerted a crime has occurred.

Parking enforcement officer writes ticket for after 8 – before 8

Just watched as a neighbor of mine got a ticket for parking in an after-8 a.m. truck loading zone along Perry Street in downtown Cincinnati (even though this alley hasn’t been used for loading trucks in probably 30 years). Only problem was it wasn’t after 8 a.m. – even when the officer handed the neighbor her ticket.

I watched out my bedroom window as she showed the officer her cell phone (which carries a signal from her wireless service that maintains the exact real time, lapse a 10-30 seconds). She was rather upset – the ticket costs $50 – but the officer would not even budge.

So, I went out and said I looked on the two computers I had open and on, both with automatically updated Internet time (also very accurate) and my cell phone and said she was right and he was wrong. His response? Look at the ticket.

She showed me the ticket. “8:00 a.m., April 2, 2010.” No Day-After April Fool’s Day joke here. I told him that even right then, as we “discussed” the ticket, it was only 8:01 a.m. so there is no way it was after 8 a.m. when he wrote the ticket.

I encouraged the woman to go to the ” parking court.” Court, in this case, is a closet with a hearing officer (“judge”), an appointee who also works as a lawyer someplace else, who almost always lets parking violaters off the first time they appear before him (or sit next to him, as is the case in Hamilton County) and usually halves fines if you take the time to go on subsequent visits. I know this from personal experience – I had a few “surprise” tickets when I lived in Over-the-Rhine. The surprise was I never got them, likely removed from the windshield by some board passer-by (and we had more than our share of those types). The excuse took with the judge  because I had actually paid, on time, other tickets over the years.

But this all comes at a cost: The experience for those living in downtown Cincinnati. It is one we cannot afford right now. And this is a stupid way for the city to make up expenses in a gigantic budget hole.

In an effort to beef up parking enforcement, officers (the parking kind, not police) have been armed with electronic ticket-writing devices that dramatically speed up the process. There apparently also have been several new hires in the past 18 months or so, making the force larger than it has been in recent years (this is an observation). Couple that with a more than doubling of the original $14 fine (as it was until 2005, late, as I recall) to the now $35 fine for parking at an expired meter, and I think we have ourselves a grand way for the city to make money for itself.

Good. No new taxes, right? But it comes at the expense of creating massive discontent about living downtown. Parking spaces – like on Perry Street – still reflect an industrial alleyway where trucks needed to park throughout the day. Now, it’s low-hanging fruit for parking enforcement folks and the bane of people who live in the former warehouses and manufacturing facilities now converted into townhomes, condos and apartments – the people who are making downtown work again.

Should parking on the street be made legal for anyone? No, but there are best practices from other cities of similar size that allow for residents to park on the street near their residence.

Cincinnati has a similar ordinance. Why haven’t you heard of it? It’s pretty fascinating, actually. Passed in the early 1980s, but it has never been used once, because the burden for residents to enact is nearly insurmountable. Why? Who knows for sure. It was either an extremely poor piece of legislation or doing exactly what it was intended to do. I have (or had) a copy of the ordinance, and some accompanying complaints by current and former Council members, and will track that down and discuss that in a future post.

Finally. Ross’s Web site is done

Ross Self Storage Extravaganza
During the wedding ceremony I performed at Ross Self Storage last June, the groom gives me a high-five.

I’ll give you this: Me owning a self-storage facility is not exactly what I envisioned as a child when I thought of professions I might like to pursue.

Might seem my destiny was already somewhat sealed when Mom and Dad bought the nearly one-acre sized property in Butler County on the site of the former Meadowbrook Inn (now the Meadowbrook Banquet Center, owned by Hilvers Catering). In reality, though, I think the thought of owning a storage facility appealed to me more originally than running one. That being said, I feel that over the past 12 months or so I have begun to really grow into the role of “self storage facility manager” and the enthusiasm that got me here in the first place (i.e. taking this over from my parents who started it in 1981) has returned. I can see again where this is all going and see its potential is pretty amazing. A turnaround in the economy, a little bit of a housing boom in southwestern Butler County (as was expected in pre-recession) and I can see big things in the future.

Even without an amazing economic bounce-back, I think things are going to be pretty good for a while in the self storage industry for a variety of reasons. Seems that storage is one of those things that people need when times are good and when times are bad. It’s a viable alternative for all sorts of situations all sorts of people find themselves in all the time. Helps that I have the latitude to be very competitively priced and have a location in an area that is still growing.

The short-term good news is small, but good. Every tenant is paid up for the first time in a long time, expectations have been clearly defined, I have only a couple empty bays (and a third giant one where my father kept his stuff that needs some finishing touches before it can be rented) and a growing group of outdoor parking space renters (with plenty of room for more). And it’s Spring – a time when people start deciding it’s time to get storage. Phone lines are open.

With all that in mind, I am happy to report I finished a complete re-design of the Ross Self Storage Web site just a few minutes ago. I did it myself (‘cuz I like doing these things) and am kinda happy with what I accomplished (though I realized I really need to get out there and shoot some better art for the site – those photos are awful).

Tomorrow begins another first for me: a Google AdWords campaign. I am using a $100 coupon I was sent from Google and thought I would give it a spin. The set-up was pretty interesting, a partial look under the advertising hood at Google. Those bite-sized ads provide the means for all the applications that Google provides – and I happily consume in mass quantities (I’m a bit of a Google fan boy). Though typically I would tell any consulting client a Google AdWords campaign is wholly unnecessary in most instances, I say this without actually ever having tried one. The coupon gives me a great opportunity to try the service without spending any cash. And I will get the added benefit of being able to speak from experience next time I tell someone it’s a waste of money.

Plus, the $100 is roughly equivalent to the amount I was going to spend in April on a newspaper ad in the Venice Cornerstone, the monthly local newspaper in Ross. This saves me from that – possibly – and also helps me bolster my argument that newspapers (and their Web sites) continue to miss the boat on a viable revenue model. I built a very un-savvy landing page, which, I think might be too overdone. My friend Krista Neher gave me one teensy bit of advice when I was thinking about my ad campaign earlier in the week: “Have a call to action.” I think I managed that OK. Call me, dammit, is my call to action. We’ll see.

I plan to report back here later on how the experience goes with Google. It should be interesting, to say the least. This is, after all and by many accounts, the future of advertising and the savior for us all (i.e. journalists who care about the content). Stay tuned…

Two reasons why I love fall in Cincinnati (more)

I love fall here in the Midwest. Here are two examples of why.
Spring Grove Cemetery is amazing this time of year. These ducks think so, too. I asked them.
Spring Grove Cemetery is amazing this time of year. These ducks think so, too. I asked hem.

There are more photos I shot recently in a Flickr set.

A hike along the parcours trail
A hike along the parcours trail in Winton Woods reveals some amazing scenery this time of year.

If you would like to visit either of these places, and I would highly recommend it, here is a quick way to do it.

To get to Winton Woods. To learn more about the park itself, check out their Web site. You can also follow them on Twitter.

To get to Spring Grove Cemetery and Arboretum, click here. To learn more about the cemetery, check out their Web site.

Dr. Bob Hatfield’s 12 tips for healthy intimate relationships

Intimate relationships are just plain not easy. Anyone who purports otherwise is either lying, crazy or has never been in one.

I’m not married. I’m 35. Have had my share of relationships and have had my share of disappointments – including some big ones lately.

Each new meeting with someone starts with so much promise, hope and passion, that the thoughts that things would ever turn sour  – and what to do when that happens – rarely ever enters my mind. It is true with most relationships.

A few people know that back in college – this persoanl non-linear journey of mine over many years – I spent a good part of it as a teaching assistant for the human sexuality class at the University of Cincinnati. I had just come off an intense long relationship with my first true love and was thoroughly depressed and confused about why the relationship had ended. In the fall quarter, in an unrelated action, I registered for Dr. Robert W. Hatfield’s “Human Sexuality” course. It turned out to be a mind-opening experience.

After the quarter when I was a student I was invited to be a teaching assistant, a job I gladly accepted. Dr. Bob, as his friends and students affectionately called him, became a mentor and friend. He was one of those few people I have been lucky enough to meet in my life who could take something I was thinking about and shared, sum it up and return a bit of wisdom in a neat package that gave me something to think about for the rest of the day – often longer. I continued to TA for two and a half years after that, including one whole school year as a senior TA.

Dr. Bob’s teaching style was humorous and engaging – and rarely boring. The class – the most popular human sexuality class at any college in the country- despite many rumors to the contrary, was not all about “fucking,” as Bob often referred to it, but instead spent about two weeks on the anatomy and physiology of having sex and eight other weeks talking about how to have good relationships. After all, I remember Hatfield saying, the best human sexuality came in conjunction with the best human relationships. Sex was typically a small part of a relationship if it was good; big if it wasn’t, was one of his tidbits of wisdom. Getting along with the person you had committed to be with was much more critical indicator of future relationship success than just about anything else. Including how good one was or was not in the sack. Just sayin’.

The problem is so many people don’t know – or have trouble remembering – the basic tenants of a good relationship. Many figure it out on their own. Many stay in relationships that should have reconsidered long ago. Some good, strong emotionally intelligent people often find themselves unable to figure out how to have a good relationship. Not saying I necessarily fit into any of those. I’m neither great nor horrible – but know for sure, like so many, could stand to remember and still learn a few things. I have found out lately that I have forgot some of these lessons, too, so it’s good to remind myself.

Sadly, Dr. Bob died on July 19, 2006. Kelly Connell, PhD., also a former human sexuality teaching assistant and Dr. Bob mentee, wrote a great obituary of Dr. Hatfield in the Journal of Sex Research. You can read it here.

Before he died, he had left the University of Cincinnati and was working in private practice in New Hampshire, a place he had loved and visited many times. I found out in 2007 that he died when I went back to UC to visit a former professor in the psychology department and Bob’s former secretary told me the sad news. She was surprised I did not know and seemed genuinely saddened to have to be the one to break the news to me, knowing how fond I was of him. I had not had contact with Bob for probably five years when he died. I had missed him, thought of him often, but had not taken the time to seek him out. It’s something I regret.

Of the many things Dr. Bob wrote, one of my favorites was a piece he did for the Downtowner, a now defunct Cincinnati weekly newspaper. Talking to him about it, he would downplay its completeness, saying he did a “pop” version of research. (He was not a big fan of journalists, having been slighted by a few over time. My decision to not go for a doctoral psychology degree, as he had encouraged me to do, and pursue a career in journalism was always a source of contention between us.) Nonetheless, I like what he had to say here. It has reminders in here that I know I have forgotten over time as the emotions and intensity of a relationship heats up. Surely, that’s the best time to remember them. And knowing that it was relatively hard to find online, I thought I would re-share it here in the hopes that others could benefit from it. It is great information and something I would encourage anyone in a relationship, having a hard time in a relationship or reeling from a relationship ending that wished had not gone that way should read. Enjoy.

Some Facts Psychologists Know About…

HEALTHY
INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS: 12 TIPS

What follows are twelve
useful guidelines for couples.

They have been found to be of great importance to happy, intimate, passionate, and committed
long-term relationships. They are derived from research on the 10-15% of couples who have been
together for over five years, …and who are, to a large extent, living the
“happily-ever-after” we all hope for. If you can utilize these suggestions, you
will be taking an important step toward joining this elite group of loving couples. Sit
down soon with your partner and this fact-sheet and give your
relationship
a potentially wonderful gift by
patiently working to improve those things that deserve your attention. If you find these
tips genuinely helpful, we suggest you save this information sheet for reference for those
inevitable times when things are not going well in your relationship. The following is a
list of factors that are now known to be some of the important things that separate the
truly happy from the unhappy couples.

1.
PRIORITIES:
The
happy and satisfied couples make a very clear commitment to each other to make their
relationship (including their sexual relationship) good. They give their relationship the
time and attention it deserves. They place quality time together at the top of their list
of priorities. Other things that demand their time are sometimes canceled or delayed.
Dinners are sometimes put on hold while they talk or make love. They may be late for a
party or work or a visit to relatives. They are careful to arrange weekends or vacations alone
without the children, or friends, or mother-in-law. They sometimes turn down invitations
and they carefully examine events or tasks called “obligations.”
2.
TIMING:
A good and satisfying relationship can happen only when there
is time for it. The current structure of families and the American work ethic conspire to
lead us into a predictable trap. Couples put off intimacy and conversation while they
“get things done.” Cleaning the house, washing the car, talking to relatives on
the phone, watching TV, etc. replace the loving behaviors they used to engage in at
the outset of their relationship. If anything good happens, it comes late at the end of a
fatiguing day, or put off until the weekend or vacation. Happy couples don’t stop making
“dates” with each other and seize upon expected and unexpected times and
opportunities. They make time, take time, and pay a lot of attention to each other.
3.

RECOVERY: The happy
couples are quite unique in that they quickly recover from arguments and hurt feelings.
They have been found to use a method not often recommended by counselors and therapists of
the past. They are often able to temporarily put aside relationship problems to
experience something enjoyable together. They put off further arguments while they go to a
concert, out to dinner, a party, or even to make love. Then, soon after having a good time
together, they often use these good feelings to quickly resolve issues that unhappy
couples spend a lifetime fighting about. The healthy couples try to work on important
disagreements in this way ONLY when they are both at their best.

4.

TOUCH: The happily satisfied couples touch each other a lot. Most of their touching is sensual and not
explicitly sexual or genital. They hold hands, snuggle on the couch while they watch TV,
hug, kiss, take baths together, give massages, etc. Couples who go days or longer without
any prolonged affectionate touch are starting from scratch when they decide to be
intimate. Unlike the affectionate couples, they have a lot of work to do in order to make
something interesting happen. Sex is not that much different than daily behaviors for the
fulfilled couples, but it is a major shift for the less affectionate pairs.

5.
ROMANCING:
Content
couples know the importance of surprise, tenderness, compliments, and special little
gifts. (Big, expensive gifts don’t predict happiness in relationships, but regular
little ones do.)
They continue “until death do we part” to behave in a
romantic, sexy, and seductive manner toward each other. Touches, unexpected phone calls to
each other, candle-lit dinners, naked weekends together, extravagant compliments, flowers
and little “thingy” gifts from the drug store, etc. are common events. The gifts
and phone calls are especially important since they communicate clearly what words cannot
…that, “I am often thinking of you when we aren’t together.” These couples
avoid the deadly danger of taking each other for granted. If they have gone too long being
busy with other things, they apologize and do something about it.
6.
ANTICIPATION:
A
major feature of actually feeling “in love” is that wonderful sense of
anticipation when thinking warmly about our partner. One day a busy executive received an
envelope from a messenger. Inside was a note from his wife to whom he’d been married for
19 years. It said, “Wanted… handsome man for a grand night of passion! See you at
7:00 PM!” Also inside the envelope was a room key to a nice local hotel. The man said
he got very little work done that day! Happy couples plan ahead and make invitations to
their lover. They know the importance of keeping passion alive. They regularly create
anticipation by, for instance, phoning their partner at work and making a “hot
date” for that evening. They describe their passion and may even offer a
“menu” for the anticipated loving event. Contrast this to the typical couple,
where the only anticipation comes after he or she says, “Wanna do it?” This
category requires regular thought and creativity, but the outcome will usually be more
than worth the relatively small amount of effort.
7.
PLAYFULNESS:
Happy
couples do “work” at their relationships and take them seriously,… but not
somberly. They play at making their partnership fun and healthy. They understand the
extremely high value of humor and laughter. What other couples react to as tragedies,
these couples are sometimes able find humor in. When bed slats break, the telephone rings,
it rains on your picnic, etc., these couples respond with “Wasn’t it funny”, not
with hysterics, anger and anxiety. They just do the best they can and understand that they
are merely human. They take loving and fun-filled care of “the child within”
themselves and their partner.

8.
COMMUNICATION:
All
studies show a direct association between the quality of a couple’s communication skills
and the quality of their relationship. The latest research studies tell us that
NON-verbal communication may be even more important than strictly verbal
communication to intimate relationships.  These couples certainly don’t always sit around talking
about their relationship, but there is an open agreement between them that when something
needs to be said, it will. And, they don’t just talk about the problems in their relationship.
They spend even more time talking about the things they love about their partner and
partnership.

9.
SHARING:
As an
important part of their communication, these content couples share the big, important
issues such as dreams and fears. They often tell each other the stories of their lives,
sharing their understanding of how their past influences the present. Sometimes the more
courageous even share their fantasies with each other.
10.

PARENTING: Every study on the topic has clearly shown that there is a reduction in several important areas
of marital satisfaction from the birth of the first child until the last child leaves
home. Ironically, children are an ever-present danger to the health of your relationship.
This is more true today than ever before due to the high number of single parents and
blended families, which add other potential problems to an already present difficulty. The
happiest couples maintain a commitment that their children are not going to have a large
negative impact on their love and romance. They do all they can to ensure that their
partner doesn’t often feel second to the children (or anything or anyone else). These
parents make sure that their children respect their privacy, which happens best when the
parent also has respect for the child’s privacy. It is almost easy for some of these
parents to minimize the negative impact of children on the relationship, because the
children are comfortably aware that they are loved, and that mom and dad (or parent and
partner) are very much in love with each other. With very rare exception, it is extremely
helpful to the child’s development to observe regular genuine affection between parents
(or parent and partner).

11.
EQUALITY:
Modern
studies have universally demonstrated that the only healthy long-term relationships are
between people who feel and are equal. Couples who are attempting to have a 1950′s type of
relationship in which the man makes most of the big decisions and the woman gets to pick
the color of the kitchen towels, are not working in the long term. Regardless of one’s
opinion of the women’s movement, the revolution has already occurred. Those who are
attempting to stop or turn back the clock are ultimately meeting with dismal failure. The
extremes of relationship power imbalances in which physical and mental abuse occurs are
the least successful today.
12.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION:

Recent research tells us that couples who deal with disagreements by withdrawing, ignoring
their partner’s feelings, and escalating the intensity of the arguments are heading toward
a failed relationship unless healthier styles of conflict resolution are developed. It is
vital that the woman send clear (mostly non-verbal) signals about her desires for distance
or closeness; and, it is equally important that the man pay close attention to her
signals, interpret them correctly, and respond as quickly as possible if the relationship
is run smoothly.

As you look over these twelve tips for relationships, you may note that
the big secret to a happy long-term relationship is no big secret at all. These things are
generally common sense. But the research in this field indicates that, once again, common
sense is not always so common. As mentioned at the outset, it is obvious that only 10-15%
of couples are able to keep doing most of the things that seemed to come so easily when
they first fell in love. For reasons that researchers don’t completely understand, this
small proportion of couples pay attention to these essentials and keep doing the
things which result in fulfilling relationships. These people are exceptional in no
other way that we can tell. They are not smarter, richer, better looking,
“sexier”, or more educated than you. This is encouraging. It says that anyone
who is knowledgeable and attentive can have a happy intimate relationship.
Resources: The best psychology sites with valuable information and links to hundreds of other
sites on the World Wide Web are Psych Central
by
Dr. John Grohol, Internet
Mental Health
or Dr. Hatfield’s UC Human
Sexuality Site

This fact sheet is provided as a service by the
University of Cincinnati Psychological Services Center
and the
Division of Student Affairs and
Services
. It was prepared by Robert W. Hatfield, Ph.D. based
primarily on information from Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D.


© 2004 Psychological Services
Center


Where are Joe and his Dad now?

Today, along with my Dad, Hermann, I am traveling west to just south of St. Louis (in Illinois) to pick up a car. Right now Pops is in the driver’s seat and I am in the front passenger seat, all teched out, with my mobile broadband card keeping me fully tethered to the online world, power inverter keeping my laptop charged, GPS unit suctioned to the window and my iPhone sitting on the dashboard. Listening to the iPod over the car radio.  I love gadgets.

If you want to see where we are and the progress we are making, the map below will make that easy. No guarantee it will be constantly updated. But it is right now.


GPS tracking powered by InstaMapper.com

You can also track me through my Facebook page, www.facebook.com/joewessels