Bob Evans to be made into “special edition” sausage links

Restaurateur Bob Evans died yesterday at age 89, which got me thinking. With all the delicious sausage he ate in his long lifetime, he’d probably taste pretty good. Couple that with my love of satire (hey, Onion, hire me), I thought maybe it would be a swell idea to turn the farmer-turned-diner owner into special edition sausage links fed to dedicated customers. That way those who love the restaurant so much could actually “have a part of the family” inside them… Just a thought.

Oh, and I’m going to hell. Hey, at least I didn’t write a haiku.

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