Hassel-laff (in his face)

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This is a YouTube classic, but I’m surprised when I hear someone hasn’t seen it, as has happened recently. So, here you go.

David Hasselhoff, the hero of one of my favorite TV shows as a child, Knight Rider, is a big star overseas. Overseas. In other countries. As in “not here.”

Other places, like in Germany, for example, where I have a large extended family – and no offense to them – they enjoy stuff that is quasi-1980s like it’s brand new. David Hasselhoff fits the mold of 80s cheesy. He seems to have allowed himself to be used in this way, to great success and financial stability, I understand. Congrats. But for this reason and many others is why this video makes me shake my head and smile every time I see it. Watch and you’ll see why.


Directions to Europe? Google says swim

Getting directions, say from Chicago to London, in Google Maps will yield some funny results. It tells you to swim there. And it would take about 29 days to do it.

Never has their map directions disclaimer been more relevant:

“These directions are for planning purposes only. You may find that construction projects, traffic, or other events may cause road conditions to differ from the map results.”

Yeah, “other events” – like you might drown.

Hat tip to has some hilarious comments.


Comedy debut

Alrighty, get your tomatoes ready. The highly-anticipated, widely celebrated video of my comedy debut has been released and is posted on the ‘Net.
I am scared to let the world see it – really scared – though I was very happy with my performance that night and did get lots of laughs. Guess whoever sees it will be the ultimate judge, but here goes. Be relatively nice, but I’d like to get feedback – honest feedback.

I would like to write more but I am working on a piece about the experience that will be in an upcoming issue of Cincinnati Magazine. I’ll post here when that articles appears, but it’ll likely be a few months.

Also, keep in mind that at parts it’s rather explicit. Don’t watch it at work (or turn your speakers down) and you may want to keep the kids away. And it’s worth noting that comedy is mostly made-up hyperbole and roman a clef. Any similarities to actual persons living or dead, places and events are coincidental and should not, in any way, be taken literally, personally or otherwise.

Now get ready to cock your arm back far to throw the tomatoes hard at your monitor screen…

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Free comedy from a poor comic

I’m launching my stand-up comedy career and this is your big opportunity to laugh at me – not with me. And in public. In front of a live audience. Within throwing distance, if you wanna.

Me, along with about 12 to 15 other budding comics – all enrolled in Jeff Jena’s “Stand-Up Comedy Basic Training” course at the Funnybone on the Levee – will do a two-hour show of six to eight minute sets each in front of a live audience.

Who’s the live audience? You.

And the best part? It’s absolutely free. And if you park at Sawyer Point and walk across the Purple People Bridge – you won’t even have to pay for parking. Drink minimums? Bleh – not even being enforced. However, the bar will be open and so will the kitchen. So you can eat and drink to your heart’s content. Get drunk, if you’d like – just so you can tolerate us all. Whatever it takes. Just come.

So bring the kiddies, bring Mom, bring Dad and Grandma can come, too. And watch me and a bunch of others try out all their original material for the very first time. Did I mention it was free?

In all honesty, though, it’s a big night for all of us. I am nervous even just thinking and writing about it. Typically the places fills up, so get there early. Tickets are available the night of the show at the Funnybone on the Levee box office located, believe it or not, at Newport on the Levee. Box office opens at 7 p.m. and the approximately two-hour show begins at 7:30 p.m.

Those who have been in the past say it is one of the best, raw comedy shows around as comics trying to see if they have the skills necessary or not throw out their very best stuff. Hope you can make it.

If you decide to come…
WHEN: Wednesday, December 7, 2005
7 p.m. Doors open
7:30 p.m. Show begins
WHERE: Funnybone-on-the-Levee, Newport on the Levee, Newport, Kentucky TICKETS: Free, at the door. Tell attendant you’re there to see me, Joe Wessels. No limit.
PARKING: $4 at the Levee Free at Sawyer Point in Cincinnati. Five-minute walk over Purple People Bridge.
WHAT: Comedy students have their first stab at performing in front of a live audience, each doing six to eight minute sets
FOOD: Bar open and kitchen open night of the show.
WHY: Support local comedy and see a good, free show.